I'm on base in Lancaster, CA today, seeing my brother for the first time since April 5th. It feels amazing, especially with all the nonsense you've been reading about going on in my life lately. Kirra cologne still smells the same way it did when I was 15.
I've fixed things up with Mr. Valentine. Things are... still rough, but so much easier than they were. Here's to God, and reading Matthew 5 until it screamed at me that even though I may not have been completely wrong, or wrong at all, I needed to be the one to step up and apologize first. Worked like magic! I sent over some Relient K lyrics and out came the confessions.
Popsicle Patty... ooh I've still got it in for that girl. But I'm trying. Finally came out with it that I can not be her friend under any circumstance... So this is me, not getting into a fist fight, not ruining what little bridge there may be left with all those friends I had, whether or not they end up back in my life as strong as they did before is a whole other entry. I stepped up, and I apologized, and there is nothing more I can do.
But I still have plenty to learn, this is not easy to overcome.
"I so hate consequences, running from you is what my best defense is. I hate these consequences, 'cause I know that I let you down, and I don't want to deal with that...
...When I got tired of running from you, I stopped right there to catch my breath. Your words they caught my ear, you said, "I miss you son, come home." And my sins they watched me leave, and in my heart I so believe, the love you felt for me was mine, the love I'd wished for all this time. And when the doors were closed, I heard no I told you so's. Except the words I knew you knew, God oh God I needed you."
I have plenty to learn, but this is reconciliation, Day 8,675,241. Yyyup.
Next step? Seriously consider quitting smoking.
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