Carousel.

I'm tired of being spun in circles.

SirHalloween showed up last night, in a new light. Admitted he was wrong, and apologized. So I should forgive him. I should forgive him, and let him back in, and alongside the rest of FML take him under my wing and bring his strength back to where it once was. He's aware that he has plenty to learn, prove, and miles to mature.

But I don't know if I can do it. He hurt me, bad, and as strong as I am and as far as I've come, this isn't a quick bandaid fix like it usually is with me. I don't know where this is going to go, or how long it will take before I don't feel the outright need to bash his face into the nearest door jamb, but I have to try. I have to try. Because of my faith, and my beliefs, I have no right to shut him down and keep him away from my life. I had just started to adjust to the fact that amongst others, I no longer had connection with NavyBoy or SirHalloween. And with my Superman by my side, I could handle that. I find strength in him. But I have to try.

I will try. Learning to be kind. Learning to be selfless. Learning to rid my mind of these hostile tendencies. This is going to be a long process. I've never been one for giving up on anyone, and now more than ever I need to make prominent the crazy, reckless, harmless memories I have of SirHalloween, and hold onto them, instead of the memories of the things he said to me.